Its 11th March 2023 and I’m 23 years old (not my birthday). One of the weirdest things about growing up is watching your friends move on to different paths in life. Some are choosing different career paths, some are moving out of the country. Its weird that I have to make appointments and schedule my week to see the people I grew up with. And dealing with friends in a different timezone is hard.
Another interesting part of growing up is to have the ability to make my own decisions. Most of the important decisions in my life till now were already made for me by my parents or circumstances. But now I have the choice and my whims mean something. I have money to spend on my hobbies and buy things that provide me comfort. Mistakes are now just another stepping stone and opportunities to learn. It does occasionally feel like I’m not being responsible enough. The never ending financial/career advice from people scares me a bit. But its also important that I acknowledge their advice and take what’s best for me. Because I’m the only one who can decide that.
I’m understanding that growing up and personal growth are completely different things. My priorities were so different a few years ago and now I’ve grown into a different person. My “goals” earlier were mostly of 2 types. Things that I can never get and things I’m definitely going to get. I wanted to be an astronaut like every other kid, but I also knew I had absolutely no chance of being one. But I also wanted to get samosas and I knew I’ll get them. But these days, its different. The effort, the fight to get something that I want needs so much more energy and involves so many more variables that I have no control over. The timeline feels off too, sometimes it feels like time move so slow that it actually hurts. And sometimes even a decade feels so less to achieve “success”. Its scary to know that in a while I’ll have to think about settling down. I simultaneously have no time to live but also want this to pass immediately.
But I’m cautiously optimistic about it all.